#i fear the bunnyzai brainrot keep going YAY

[iwantmochisoup]

OMGGG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!! QwQ PLEASE READ THIS!! AAAA BUNNYZAI !! MY BELOVED !!

Merry Christmas!! @iwantmochisoup !!!

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When it comes to the animal kingdom, many species are very particular when it came to grooming. In dogs and cats, the one cleaning the other is the dominant animal. Knowing they’re the one in control and responsible for another is what drives them, a sense of pride in their leadership. In bunnies, the one being cleaned is the dominant bunny. Being pampered and cared for is a form of preening almost, being treated like a king because they got clean first. By cleaning the forehead and ears, they’re acknowledging the bunny’s dominance.

Hybrids are much like their animal parts in many ways, and the rules to grooming are no exception. Much like bunnies clean themselves frequently, their hybrids shower or bathe more often than the average person. It’s not unheard of for bunny hybrids to pout when they don’t get first dibs on showers, or for them to take too much joy in getting their hair done by someone else. Though, many partners and friends of bunnoids give in to their need for a hierarchy like this, that wasn’t always the case. Some hybrids rejected their needs as well, though most never lasted long.

It wasn’t uncommon for animal hybrids to need help with parts they couldn’t reach, and well… Osamu’s ears were long. They seemed too big for the sixteen year-old, whether they stood tall or laid back against his head. Honestly, for some unknown reason (that he didn’t want to unpack, ever) he hated anyone touching his ears. He wasn’t the kind of bunnoid to just let anyone touch his fur, not only was it hard to keep clean (not that he really did) it was just too sensitive. The leathery skin that made up his bunny ears was thin, one small nick and they would bleed more than honestly he ever thought any wound could. After years in the mafia, he had learned to not let anyone go near them.

His ears were like his bandages, though those were more respected. The personal choice of wearing bandages over most of his body was hardly ever questioned by his subordinates, but far too many stared at his ears. So he was a little self conscious about being a bunny hybrid, sue him! Perhaps the confusion stemmed from his signaling with them. Bunnies, and by extension bunnoids, emote with their ears and a few other behaviors. Though Osamu had suppressed those urges long ago, even when he was alone. Sure, it wasn’t the most healthy thing to do, but he didn’t really have a choice. That was until… Chuuya.

The ginger had come into his life like a whirlwind, changing everything before deciding he’d stay. It didn’t take long for Dazai to show more of himself to Chuuya than anyone had ever gotten before, except one thing… his habits. Even still, his hybrid instincts had been suppressed around the boy, even as almost everything else had been opened and exposed. He owed more to the shorty than he would ever put into words, and that was a weird feeling.

Even now, as he sat in Chuuya’s bathroom, getting ready to steal his friend’s shower. Small behaviors were something he felt himself slipping into around the boy, and he didn’t know how else to hide them. The whole ordeal with just embarrassing on more levels than one. His ears laid back against his head, his bandages wrapped neatly on the counter to be put back on once he was dry. The water would wash away his worries, he just needed time to clean himself and think.

As he showered, there was just something niggling the back of his brain. A hole in his heart, and not just his normal apathetic outlook either- something more that was missing. It was on the tip of his tongue, and yet Dazai couldn’t put words to what that vast emptiness needed to be filled. His hands methodically moved over his ears, combing at the wet fur in rhythmic swiping motions. Not being able to name his own feelings was growing more frustrating by the second. What else could he possibly need, and why was his brain not putting words to something that was meant to be simple?

After far too long- the hot water was running out, Chuuya was going to be pissed- he finally left the shower. Getting dressed should have been easy, drying himself off, getting the basics on (underwear, then bandages) then stealing Chuuya’s shirt and off he went for a sleep over! Except that’s… not what happened.

He tried- really he did! Except after his underwear and leg bandages being in place, he moved on to his chest and arm wraps. Dazai’s ears were pinned back against his head as he tried to concentrate on wrapping everything evenly. What he didn’t notice was his ears getting caught in the length of white fabric as he covered his chest, until a noise was made in the distance and his ear twitched. When his ear moved, so did all the bandages, some pulled too tight, others came loose and fell over the others and the whole thing fell apart. His poor ribs were being squished, and there was too much to pull away from his chest to change it.

Trying to fix the bandages just made everything that much worse! He tried to get his ears out, but that only pulled the wound bandages on his chest to pull tighter. Unwrapping what he had done left a mess of bandage on the floor, and tightening the wrap pulled at his ears. He was in a battle of trying to undo the bandages, making them too tight and tangling them on the floor in a panic to correct his mistake.

Long story short, he was now in the bathroom, with dripping wet hair, tangled in bandages. Threaded between his arms, chest and ears. Leave it to his ears to not make the matter easier either- the occasional twitches pulling everything and leaving him more tangled. What a mess… even moving his arms was neigh impossible. There was no choice- he’d have to do something he never wanted to do, in any circumstance…

“Chuuya!” There was no option but to call for him, even if shame burned through him. It wasn’t like Chuuya hadn’t seen him in more embarrassing situations before (that party does not count!). They were always talking about dumb things, and how Dazai had gotten caught in some traps for work (intentional and not).

The door burst open, bright red hair flashing in his vision as the boy looked at him. It was honestly a sight, seeing the big mighty demon prodigy in a pathetic heap on the floor wet and tangled in his own bandages. What was he going to do with Dazai? Was he pouting? Oh my god… Dazai was pouting, looking up at Chuuya with big round eyes, pleading for help as if he’d get it faster by trying to be cute.

Sitting on the floor of the bathroom, Chuuya slowly untangled the boy from all his bandages. Steadily, careful not to pull on any part of the already stable wrap- or the fur on the long bunny ears. Honestly, how did Osamu take care of those things? Still, their companionable silence (after Chuuya had laughed his ass off) was a sort of bonding silence, oddly enough. The methodical rhythmic motions lulled them both into a sort of pattern, undoing bandages, being careful not to pull on any fur.

“How do you deal with big ears like this?” Breaking the silence, Chuuya glanced up at his friend. Dazai had his eyes closed, his ears still as the quiet sounds of bandages filled the bathroom. How many times had he been asked that question? Did it even matter? Chuuya was asking for genuine reasons, not the sort of mocking he was so used to.

“What do you mean? I was born with them, so it’s not like I’ve ever been without them.” Why had he not thought of that? Chuuya felt dumb for asking, but that wasn’t exactly what he meant (it is but he refused to admit it). Scoffing and taking off the rest of the bandage that was tangled, he crossed his arms.

“You know what I mean dumbass! I don’t know any other hybrids-“

“One of Kouyou’s girls-“

“Doesn’t count!” No way in hell could he ever ask a girl about her hybrid stuff- especially not in front of Ane-San. That was like asking to be reprimanded and given another lesson in manners for hours, no thank you! Hearing Dazai giggle was enough, leave it to the most unserious boy alive to press him like that. “Come on Dazai, I don’t know anything about bunnoids- and that girl is a deer.”

Chuuya was right, hybrids were very different depending on what species they were mixed with- and at the very least, deers were also prey animals. Though, it was a big leap from a bunny… Osamu sighed, one of his ears slipping to the side. Avoiding the question was what he had been doing for months, his whole life with others but Chuuya had been wearing on him more. Of course he knew the answer, but it wasn’t like he was obligated to share them!

Tapping his foot on the floor, he tried to think of ways to at least get something for himself out of this. A bargain of sorts was always on the table, even if he had just used Chuuya’s shower, and shirt, and help untangling himself from the bandages…

Alright fine, no blackmail it is. He didn’t exactly have much left to ask for, not without Chuuya throwing gravity powered things at him. A lesson in Bunnoids for one ginger who had no clue what he was getting himself into! What a joy, Osamu would have so much fun messing with him!

“Alright fine! Basically it’s mostly the same as hair. Wash them, dry them, brush out the fur. Just like your ears, don’t let water get inside them.” Sure, that was just what he did, many bun-people changed what they did depending on their needs. Osamu had never needed any of the fancy oils for thin ears, or fur care products, it was just a waste of money. Though, Chuuya didn’t look too convinced.

“You sure?”

“They’re my ears, Chibi. Yes I’m sure.” What more could he be expecting? Dazai always stole Chuuya’s shower, and clearly there was no fancy ear oils, or fur conditioners in his bathroom. What more could he really have hidden?

“That just doesn’t feel right, but okay.” Sitting back, Chuuya picked up the towel, and dumped it over Dazai’s head. The damp cloth obscured his vision, leaving no way for him to guess what his fellow mafioso was going to do next.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“Your hair is still dripping wet.” The roughly annoyed voice of Chuuya answered back, though he didn’t get a moment to protest. Hands started moving the towel over his hair, and gently scrubbed at his ears.

Motions back and forth against the fur was nothing special, it was the exact same way he usually dried off himself. Yet, something in Osamu’s brain just went haywire at someone else doing it for him. Bunny-brain, that’s what he called it. The little voice in the back of his head that just felt so much pride at someone else washing him. It didn’t matter if Chuuya knew or not, by the one simple act of trying to dry his hair and ears he admitted that there was respect for Osamu being his superior.

Relaxing under Chuuya’s hands, he almost fell back into crossed legs. Before Dazai could fully give in to the little voice in the back of his head, the towel was pulled away. Finally, the other boy left the room so he could finish wrapping his bandages.

This time he didn’t get his ears caught in the tangles of spiraling fabric. Now in a loose T-shirt, Dazai left the bathroom to find his friend sitting on the bed, already changed to pajamas and relaxing with a movie playing in the background. Holding out a hair brush- it was Chuuya’s, of course- Dazai stood at the edge of the bed, just staring. With furrowed brows, the ginger glanced up at him.

“You want me to brush your hair? Why can’t you do it?” What a dumb question… (Dazai was not getting embarrassed, no way!).

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know about bunny hybrids if you brush out my hair and ears.” Osamu knew he had won when the shorter boy took the brush from his hands, even if there was some hesitance to it. Sitting down on the plush bed with his back turned to Chuuya, he let his ears relax. Once the brush hit the back of his head, his shoulders lost any tension they had been holding.

“So, what kind of things do bunny hybrids do?” Holding in his snarky response to Chuuya’s silly question was a test of willpower. He didn’t want the brushing to end early, that was the only reason he didn’t say it.

“Well, there’s plenty of small things. Ears are usually the biggest one, it’s a good sign of emotions.” Chuuya was gentle with the brush, it was shocking. Even when the boy was kind to him- like making him food, or letting him use the shower- it always felt like the first time experiencing it all over again. How they even went from fighting constantly to quiet moments like this was a mystery.

“Is it like a dog’s ears?” Of course, Chuuya wasn’t familiar with bunny behaviors, but a dog? Really? Dazai let out a small scoff at being compared to a dog, offended at such a question.

“I guess, most animals have a similar tell in the ears. Alert, relaxed, curious and agressive.” His ears twitched, causing a pause in the brush going over his damp hair. Tapping his foot on the bed, Osamu frowned, waiting for the brush to go back to soothing repetitive strokes against his head.

“Wait, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that.” Chuuya leaned forward, and as far as he recalled he couldn’t think of a single time outside of this apartment that Osamu had moved his ears other than sleeping. Was he… hiding those things?

“Being a mafioso is dangerous chibi, it’s helpful if people can’t read my ears.” It wasn’t dangerous for animal hybrids to hide those little things- it was just difficult. It was something similar to training yourself to not blush when embarrassed, hard but perhaps not impossible. What all could he really do if people were able to see what he was planning based on his ears alone?

“Still…” The brush pressed against his head again, slowly getting any tangle out of his hair with shocking gentleness. “What else? Surely there’s more to it than just your ears.” Osamu wanted to roll his eyes, even if Chuuya wouldn’t see it.

“All hybrids have behaviors from their animal counterpart. You just don’t know bunny behaviors, do you?” The brush pulled away again, asks he couldn’t help but look back. Chuuya’s small frown was funny, Dazai couldn’t get quite why he was upset.

“Do you want me to brush your hair or not?” Ah, he was snarky again. He couldn’t help his disposition, his little quips just came out naturally. Tapping his foot against the bed again, this time more loudly, Dazai huffed a little.

“Fine! I’ll explain things, just finish up.” As soon as he started explaining the various behaviors that carried over from bunnies, Chuuya began to brush out his ears, loose tufts of brown fur falling on to the bed.

“Wait, so you’re telling me-“ Chuuya cut himself off snickering, he couldn’t help it. Dazai was telling him things that just now started to make sense between his behavior and that of a bunny- and well, he couldn’t stop imagining Dazai as an actual bunny now. “That every time you’re tapping your foot like that… you’re throwing a bunny-sized tantrum?” Dazai gasped, his unbrushed ear twitching.

“I am not!”

“Yes you are! I bet you stomped so loudly throwing tantrums as a kid. Even now, I see you tap your foot all the time!” He couldn’t even deny it, Chuuya was right. That didn’t mean he was throwing a tantrum every time he did it! Bunnies thump for a few reasons, it just happened to be his first reaction to annoyance, thumping was just what he did.

“You try existing around the most annoying people alive and not doing something you’re hardwired to do.” Dazai knew all too well how quickly Chuuya turned to his gravity ability the second he got angry, even after shouting and arguing. Though luckily, it was less common around him, since his ability could just turn Chuuya’s off.

“I still think it’s a bunny-sized tantrum.” Swapping ears, the right one met with the brush. Dazai had to stop himself from thumping louder just to bother the short mafiosi, he knew just how to make the sound be as loud as possible. “You said purring too? I didn’t know bunnies could purr…”

“It’s not like a cat purr, but it’s still called purring.” One of these days, Osamu was going to decide that Chuuya knew too much. Though, these quiet late night moments were ones he’d cherish for a long time. What a crazy thought to have for a teenager, but it didn’t stop it from being true.

“What does it sound like if not rumbling?” What a silly question- to Dazai at least. Honestly, he had no idea why the sound was called purring when it was nothing like a cat’s.

“Almost like a chewing sound? At least in actual bunnies, it’s hard to explain in hybrids.”

Their night continued, the questions continuing until Chuuya knew everything he wanted about bunnoids- or at least all Dazai was going to share. The talking didn’t stop there, and the two kept talking until well into the early morning. Much to the frustration of both of them- as well as everyone around them- when they had to go to work the next morning. Dazai would wish a sleep deprived Chuuya on only his worst enemies, as much as he found it amusing himself.

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